Wednesday 14 April 2010

Remembering the present

Yom Hazikaron leshoah ulegvurah (Remembrance day for the holocaust and its heroes) is commemorated on a different day in Israel to the rest of the world. While the rest of the world commemorates the Allies’ arrival in Auschwitz for its liberation, Israel remembers the day that the Warsaw Ghetto uprising began (which began the night before Passover... and so is commemorated a couple of weeks later).

Over the years I’ve read books, seen films, been to the world’s best museums in Jerusalem and Washington, where I’ve seen the mountains of clothes, shoes, glasses, even false teeth, extracted by the Nazis from their victims to maximise the profit and efficiency of the extermination camps. And yet, in honesty, I’ve always felt totally detached from the Shoah. Perhaps that is a coping mechanism, but more likely because I’m unable to grasp the utter horror of reality, the fact that we as a people, and me as a person, were so close to the edge. It helps that I don’t know of any immediate relatives who were still in Europe when Hitler and Eichmann started their final solution. Truthfully, I’d rarely notice Holocaust Memorial Day in the UK.

Two days ago, I experienced my second memorial day here in Israel. People are more subdued, the buses quieter, the radio plays solemn music. At 10am, a siren blares across the entire nation for two minutes, while people stop their cars in the middle of the motorway to get out and stand in respect. I remember my minute of silence each year in the UK for those fallen in the two world wars; stopping in a corridor in a hospital while people walk past eating, talking, looking at the odd doctor who is just standing there.

Thank G-d I’ve never been in the wrong part of Israel at the wrong time, and so have never heard an air raid siren (although they still happen every day in the Southern cities near Gaza), and I never heard the siren warning of an incoming scud missile during the Gulf War. As long as the world wakes up from its slumber, perhaps I’ll never hear the siren of a missile coming from Iran, either. So, I don’t know whether the siren they sounded two days ago sounds like the one I never want to hear. But either way, there’s an incredible link between the two. As 6 million Jews in Israel stop to remember the 6 million who were slaughtered, suddenly the reality of the world’s hatred becomes real. The noble attempts of Jewish organisations to make the Shoah tangible – by giving each university student the name of a real person who lived sixty years ago, for example – becomes so irrelevant when you watch your teachers, the people who came here or were born here 50 years ago and now teach the next generation to talk in our ancient tongue, light a candle, and weep as they proclaim, “I am lighting this candle in honour of my mother, my father, my uncle, my auntie, my grandfathers and grandmothers, and their sisters and brothers, who died at the hands of the Nazis”. Our teachers, full of zeal and enthusiasm, so proud of our little country, so bright about the future, all of a sudden reduced to those infants who were taken from the camps by soldiers, or who escaped Europe on the kindertransport. Suddenly Israel’s mistrust of the outside world is legitimate, because it really wasn’t long ago that even the most friendly of countries left the Jews for dead because it wasn’t a priority during their war plans. The US and UK both made the decision that they couldn’t afford one single raid (one single bomb) to destroy the gas chambers at Auschwitz and save quite literally millions of lives. It’s significantly less time since the UN obeyed Egypt when she told them to leave the border with Israel, so Egyptian forces could invade. So when the rest of world points at Israel, working hard to fortify herself to the hilt with fences, radars, patrols, check points and soldiers, and asks for a proportionate response, suddenly the cynicism of Israel’s senior population makes sense. Why should they trust anyone?

I heard a very interesting observation today, from the Israeli author David Grossman. “The rest of the world refers to the Shoah as what happened ‘back then’. Jews refer to what happened ‘over there’. To us, it’s living memory. To many, it’s first hand living memory. And it’s not over”.

Thursday 8 April 2010

First steps to a job...

Last time I wrote, I talked about the Storming Norman theory of group dynamics. Four weeks have flown by since then, and suddenly I’ve realised I have a lot to write about.

Aliyah remains fabulous but odd; as I fully expected, it doesn't have the magic of Israel tour or a gap year, but in a way, that IS the magic - that this is normal life. Things tick along, you meet people, you study (and hopefully soon work), all in Israel. It's Israel! Home!

Having read through the old entries, I can’t believe that I forgot to mention the job offer! Right at the end of the first entry I mentioned how I’d emailed a Professor to enquire about jobs, and barraging him with dozens of questions about the training process, salaries, hours, responsibilities and so on, of working in Israel. I got a rather short reply back, telling me that it was easier to meet in person, and ask face to face. So, one afternoon in our first few weeks, Deborah and I hopped on a bus to Givat Shmuel, a very religious town just outside Tel Aviv, with a copy of a CV quickly flung together and updated to express a life-long yearning to be a GP. Having dumped Deborah at a coffee and crepe shop (no complaints there), I walked over to the Professor’s clinic. ‘The Prof’ as he will be called hereonin, is the Head of the Family Medicine training programme for one of the four health funds in Israel. So, meeting him was a little scary.

We sat down as soon as he got back from afternoon prayers; he knew I’d be early because ‘Englishmen always are’, but nonetheless still didn’t make it back in time for the meeting. We waited for a colleague of his who has served in the army and might be able to answer some questions about my service, and then we chatted for over an hour and half, about life, medicine, aliyah, the UK, families, ambitions, and everything in between. It was all very informal, with jokes, complaints, light-hearted banter etc. So, at the end of the meeting, when I asked how I should go about applying for a job, I was somewhat taken aback to see him laugh, look at his colleague briefly, and answer ‘you just did. And you’ve got one.’

So, that’s that. I haven’t accepted the job offer, because I’m not ready until after ulpan, another special medical ulpan, and then the army, which takes me up to 2012. The job is only guaranteed until the end of this year, so it’s not the most useful job offer... but it’s fantastic to know that there’s hope!

On the subject of medicine, the break from work was great until last week, when I saw a bloke on the bus trying to examine his own X ray film. Given the relaxed confidentiality rules here, it’s quite usual for patients to transport their own results, and even blood samples, between clinics, labs and hospitals. Watching this elderly gentleman hold his own lung fields upside down and back to front, clearly having no clue what the significance of the left middle lobe consolidation and right lower atelectasis could be, I got a pang of sadness at what I'm missing; which was really bizarre. I get consulted on a daily basis in the absorption centre, usually by Russians with colds, occasionally with a suspected appendicitis, cellulitis, or alcohol related injury. I get no satisfaction from that and usually tell them to piss off and stop wasting my time... and tell them to pay 7 sheks to see their own Doc if they really think it’s necessary. But seeing the X ray made me think of the hospital, real medicine, a challenge, and a chance to make a difference. All in good time, I suppose.

It’s a little ironic then, that I've applied for a training post in 'Family medicine'. Although not as exciting as the hospital life, I really enjoyed my GP placements, and frankly, my priorities in life are changing. I love hospital work now, but down the line, I want the freedom to spend time with my (bli neder) family, to be my own boss, and to feel a connection to my patients; I want to be in a place where my patients bring their kids to see me, and maybe in another generation, the kids bring their kids. If our dream to live in a small place in the North comes to fruition, then I can see that happening. In the meantime, I have 2 years of hospital medicine to do (at least), during training, plus 18 months of army, plus my annual reserve duty. So the pressure medicine isn't over just yet.

The application forms, as of two days ago, are officially in the hands of משרד הבריאות (the ministry of health), along with my destiny in Israel. It is up to them – assuming they don’t lose the forms meanwhile – to give me my license and open the gates of Israeli medicine. All in good time!